i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
