This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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