Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
