If that was your dad, he is hot
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
