I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You were trust falling into bushes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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