come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
