This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
