You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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