Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
