he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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