I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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