The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
