Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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