this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize