I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
