sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
