when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
