yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And then he peed in my hair
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