At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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