I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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