i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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