Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
