I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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