we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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