I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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