Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
