One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
