You're so nebulous sometimes
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Who put my cat in the fridge?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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