On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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