i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
one two three fourrrrnication!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
