The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this will be a night to untag.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Randomize
