y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
