i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
