When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
