i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
