Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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