i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
