i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
