i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
