So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
