proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
