Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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