Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
