All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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