Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
