Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
