my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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