I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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