she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
