It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
