there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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