Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
