Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
