He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
