Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
