really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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