the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
