we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She bit a glass in half.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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