my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
