i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
