I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to stop coming to work sober
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize