Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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