we're chasing vodka with high fives
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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