I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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