How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
