I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize