You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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