I can text with my tongue
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
