just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
